The universe did not want Gabriel to turn in his homework last week. I had to learn to accept that. Poor, Gabriel has two over achievers for parents and homework timeliness in important to us.
Last, Monday, Gabriel had an extra science class after school, so Hannah and I went to pick him up. Normally, he takes the bus to an after school club. I was feeling exhausted and the thought of taken him somewhere else and picking him up again seemed daunting. So I said “Why don't we head home?”
“That sounds great” Gabriel smiled “I have stuff I want to do at home.” then my mufflers came up he started talking about Bakugan, Pokeman and Goosebumps. The only three subjects he seems able to have a lot to say about and trust me it is not that interesting. (I mention to him constantly that I love Spore, but I don't talk to him endlessly on the subject.)
“You can't do any of that till you get your homework done.”
“Right”
We headed home and got through the what's for snack debate and then sat down to get his homework going. At the beginning of the week Gabriel gets a pack of math work due that Friday, a spelling word list and a daily reading/writing assignment. That Monday he got some uncompleted class work too.
I went over again how he needs to get work done in class. This has been a problem since Kindergarten, he will actually debate any subject with me for thirty minutes then just get a project that takes at the most fifteen minutes for him to do. I find it draining and annoying.
He started the math work. This conversation was interesting, it was on graphing and he was filling me in on his techniques on how to get this done quickly. I just nodded “Great idea Gabriel.” Midway through I needed to remind him to sit so he wasn't falling out of the chair. He got the first two pages done. He read me and Hannah a book on the history of popcorn. Truthfully, I didn't know all that stuff. Of course after Homework time we were going to have to make popcorn.
We got all that needed to be done, and left two pages of math for later that week.
I made popcorn with an air popper exciting him and the night progressed well.
The next day, he went to the after school club. When I picked him up he told me he finished his math. When we got home I checked his homework folder. There was reading homework to sign off on and flyer's for field trips and school stuff but no math homework.
“Gabriel where is your math homework?”
“Oh, “T” has it.”
This is bizarre T doesn't even go to the same school as Gabriel. “You need to get it back tomorrow. OK!” I had a ton of other questions but decided it was a seven year old buddy thing. T and him were probably participating in some sort of boy teasing friendship ritual.
“Yes, Mom.”
So it nagged at my brain but it was only Tuesday so there was time. Besides we had Cub scouts to get ready for so I let it go.
I reminded him the next morning.
When I picked him up he told me he got it back it was at the front desk. I found that odd. What is going on. So we went home and I went back through his folder. It was missing.
“Gabriel you homework isn't here.”
“What? I put it in my backpack.”
“It's not here. What is going on?”
“I think “R” went through my backpack and took it.” I took a breath. My parent senses were tingling. We had taught him to share, we taught him to be guarded with his body, we hadn't taught him to demand respect with his personnel items. I was starting to think there was more to this then friendly teasing.
“They should not be going through your backpack. It is OK, for you to tell your friends to leave your homework alone. They should not be taking your homework.. It is your responsibility Gabriel. You need to know where it is.” It was Wednesday this alarmed me.
Since, the day before it ended up at the front desk. I called the club to ask if they had seen it. While I was on the phone the story changed. “Gabriel where were you when you last saw it?”
“By the front desk, I had to tape it up.”
Internally I was going “What?”
The women on the phone was looking while I was still trying to ascertain what had happened. “Why did it have to be taped up Gabriel?”
“Well “R” was stepping on it and it got a hole in it”
I believe I rubbed my forehead with my right hand in aggravation. While the women on the phone told me she couldn't find it. I realized this was not the time to figure out what had happened. I put a finger out to pause Gabriel. Robert was home by this time and offered to let me go look. “How late are you open?”
“Eight” the women said.
“May I come look?”
“Sure.”
I went and looked in all the rooms he mentioned. I went through the trash and recycling. Meanwhile, my head was going through scenarios that involved teasing, and destruction of homework. In the end I knew it was Gabriel's responsibility. He needed to tell an adult when the situation was happening not hours later. I didn't find it. I smiled and thanked the coordinator. “Just so you know this is the second day in the row he has misplaced his homework. He wont be coming tomorrow. He needs to understand that he's got to keep track of it.”
She nodded
I went home. Robert and I took away his video game privileges. We reiterated that his backpack was his and no one else should be going through it. It was OK to tell them to stop. He needed to keep track of his homework.
I emailed his teacher and sent a note requested a new math packet. I offered to print emailed copies, because as you know the school budget is tight. Every piece of paper is counted. (Gabriel's homework last year got reduced because they could not afford to print as much.)
He was sent home with a new packet. We redid it that night. The next day Gabriel had a fever and could not go to school. His homework was not turned in by Friday.
I really tried.
--Mom
Ps. I tried to scan them on Friday by email. I got called to nurse Gabriel and Hannah and never came back to the computer room. The pages were still in my scanner this Tuesday.
So Gabriel believes he has found his new sport. And it's ice hockey. This for the kid for whom running and dribbling the ball at the same time presents certain coordination challenges. Sigh.
