What Are Words For
When something unexpected happens, people want to find the right words to express sorrow, support, and comfort. I came across another blog describing this experience, and it reminded me of our experience when Hannah was born. As Hannah moved from an eight-hour post-birth observation period to a two-week NICU stay, we heard all of the following:
"G-d only gives you what you can handle."
"You get to have a baby girl forever" (a NICU nurse making a prognosis for Hannah)
"Why did it have to be you!"
"What's the prognosis?"
These are the more extreme examples of, um, support? Alternately, our neighbors congratulated us on the birth of our baby girl and put together a homemade Welcome Home sign for her.
I have always recognized the first set of comments to reflect people's innate need to put events into a context they themselves can understand (and find comfort in). I think those comments are offered in genuine support, but with me, they miss the mark.
I remember sitting in NICU, holding Hannah to my chest, and singing "Yesterday" to her. I wasn't thinking about her diagnoses; I was enjoying our closeness, her warmth. I was looking forward to taking her home and learning what it was like to have a family of four. I didn't need to know how steep the mountain we would climb together would be. I needed to hear that we had a gorgeous little girl. I needed to hear "Welcome Home, Hannah."
-- Dad
