We are all home!
We all came home from the hospital today by 11:30. Poor, Robert had to go back because I forgot the power cord to Hannah’s ventilator. I was exhausted. Gabriel tried to get me to watch Digimon with him. I settled Hannah and I in the family room him. I snuggled up to Hannah and fell asleep.
He sat on top of my back and lifted my head several times. I felt it drop. I let him do this ten times before I was conscious enough to say, "Stop, Gabriel your hurting me."
"Mommy it’s not sleep time. It’s awake time."
"Gabriel, I only got like two hours of sleep last night."
"I’m sorry Mommy, it’s play time."
I let anger slip into my voice. "Gabriel, no, I’m the parent and you need to let me sleep."
"But, Mommy I want you to see this."
I looked at the clock, just in my mind I groaned. It was still two hours before I could get relief. I could barely keep my eyes open. Any movement I try to do was clumsy and unprecise. I felt like there was a weight on my head and all I wanted to do was go back to sleep.
Hannah hugged me and laughed while Gabriel insisted on another show. I realized he should eat something for lunch so I dragged myself up and wander into the kitchen. I wasn’t giving him a choice today. I found the bread, made sure it was fresh and set it up in the toaster and pulled out the peanut butter. I put something on the TV that won’t put me to sleep. I put on Between the Lions and blink at it, as the children were distracted from me.
I got Gabriel his peanut butter sandwich, which he immediately complained was not grilled cheese, which was what he wanted. "I’m sorry, Gabriel, I don’t have the energy for grilled cheese." As I cleaned up the dishes I realize peanut butter sounded good to me too. So I made myself an untoasted one. It takes far less energy.
I then sat on the floor next to Hannah while we all watched CliffHanger try to get off that cliff again.
I felt content having everyone home.
--Mom
