Black Hole
Three weeks ago, Hannah had a post operation appointment with her ENT (Ear, Nose and Throat Doctor). He was the person who had made her trach hole originally, and he was the one who stitched it up. Things were going well. Unfortunately, Hannah has been attempting to breath through the hole in her neck still. So it hasn't closed completely.
The doctor examined it and said, "It looks great, but there is the smallest of holes." He went to the counter and pulled out a long stick.
"What's that?" I asked
"Silver nitrate," he said matter of factly
Internally, I was scratching my head. At home, those sticks were used to burn off
granulomas. Granulomas are these bloody bumps created by big holes in a person's body. They are essentially tissue the body is trying to heal itself that the tubes interfere with.
"What are we doing?" I asked quickly as I got a more protective grip on Hannah. That last time I let one of those things be used on her she screamed like it was extremely painful. I hadn't anticipated or told Hannah there would be pain that day. I like to warn her.
He looked at me casually. "Oh, I'm going to rough up the edges in there so maybe we can heal the hole without having to stitch it up."
That made sense. I looked at Hannah, "This might hurt" I gripped her tighter in the chair that had no way of supporting her.
He stuck the stick in, and the hole blackened. She didn't scream or even squirm.
"Ok, I want to see her in six weeks." said the doctor.
I looked at my father in-law and children. Everyone was in a good mood The appointment had been maybe five minutes. The day was beautiful, and we had drove all the way to Portland for it.
So I said, "Let's go to the zoo!"
Gabriel cheered.
Zadie was helping me out because I'm not ready to leave Hannah alone in the backseat of the car for over ten minutes. She needs a medically trained adult next to her. So I can't drive and take care of her at the same time.
When we got to the zoo, Zadie unloaded Hannah and mentioned something about tarnishing. I got us our tickets, and we went inside. For some reason, people were giving us a wide berth: wider than normal. I went to wipe Hannah's face of drool and noticed why: she was bubbling black stuff out of her trach and spreading it with her saliva.
She was in a great mood and felt fine. It just was a little alarming of a sight.
That night, Robert said, "Hannah has a black hole in her neck." We proceeded to wonder what the properties of a neck black hole would be. Yes, we are nerds: through and through.
--Mom
