I find being a parent in the modern age can be daunting. There is advice everywhere on how to parent. Messages flying everywhere from every age at once in an alarming speed. Commercials trying to sell me toys talk about developmental steps. Parenting magazines focus on strategies on how to modify behavior. Television shows encourage me to make super smart children that know how to read and write by Kindergarten. Other shows focus on social behaviors emphasize I should make my children into the perfect empathetic people who let everyone else get away with bad behavior. Then there is everyone I know. The older generation, other parents and the most comic of all the people who don't have children have messages of how I should parent. These messages swirl in my mind as I try to raise my kids.
Having a child with disabilities have added another level of messages. I have doctors, nurses, physical therapists, occupational therapists, surgeons and educational professionals giving me advice on how to manage my daughters care. Anything about caring for a child involves parenting.
I understand that most people are trying to be helpful. There is no malice in their intent. But certain groups of these professionals like to throw a level of dire urgency to their causes that is uncalled for.
When Hannah was around 7 months I had a physical therapist tell me if she doesn't start working on walking now, she will never walk. We had just finished the 3 month stint of living in the hospital with Hannah newly tr ached and ventilator dependent. The level of exhaustion I was at, is too much to write about now and totally off topic. Currently, Hannah doesn't walk but I see improvement every day. She is baring weight longer and starting to move her legs with out me pushing her too. I think eventually it will happen.
The funny thing is I find the doctors and surgeons my allies. They shut down the swirl of conjecture with a wave of their hands and a shrug.
They remind me of certain truths I have found out about life that work for me. They are messages my rational brain tries to get through to me. Life is about living. Nobody is perfect. Nobody has all the answers. Nobody knows the future. The most important thing is to guide my children to finding their way in society. That involves letting them know they are loved. It is OK to let them know I'm only human. Everyone has their own rate of learning. Worrying doesn't solve anything. Oh and most important, If you don't get enough sleep your coordination sucks and helping someone with physical therapy doesn't work so well.
--Mom
