What is Real
Reality has been a concept debated through the ages. What is real? Tonight I'm going to touch on a subject that tends to hit Robert and me in the head a great deal. Philosophers debate whether reality is all physical or mental or a combination of both. For me, it is physical with an emphasis on how my subjective conscience approaches the situations..
Having children messes with one's reality. They require all your time, and the world at large is not designed to accommodate babies' and toddler's needs. Easy tasks that required no forethought before becoming a parent change into cumbersome challenges.
When I became a parent, showers were no longer a right. I needed to figure out what to do with the baby (who really just wanted me to hold him). So it became a take-turn type thing with my husband. Robert took care of Gabriel while I showered for five minutes. Eventually, Robert needed to go to work. So I needed to shower around his timetable or find a way for Gabriel to be safe and happy while I did this. In came the bouncy chair. When Gabriel grew out of that, then I needed a playpen and Sesame Street. Now he can pretty much putter around the house alone for five minutes while I shower.
Hannah took this reality shift to a new level. Showers became 2 minutes at the most. For the first 3 years of Hannah's life, my showers were not possible without another adult in the house. She could pull the vent off, take out her g-tube, or just stop breathing in some weird way without me knowing. I could not even take the trash out of the house to the curb; there was too much that could happen that would be life-threatening in that time period. (this stuff was happening several times a day - it wasn't just a what-if situation)
What I have learned from these experiences has shaped my reality into a life view of 'don't sweat the small stuff.' I appreciate every moment of leisure I get. I try to keep that critical voice in my head on mute and live in that state of yesterday is the past, tomorrow is unknown, and today is a gift. I know it is hokey, but it is how I get through the day.
Sometimes, I must admit I do get baffled by other's realities. I've had a week of people totally making a fuss over small stuff, and it takes all I have not to laugh at them or just say, “Whatever.”
--Mom
